12-29-04

I don't know what it is, but I've just got this huge sadness hovering around me. The winter is rather bleak and depressing. I wish it were snowing, so that it would at least seem like winter. We've got like a Florida winter going on right now. It's 40 out and I don't have a need to wear gloves.

Michelle came over for a couple of hours today. We watched High Fidelity and just hung out. We had a really good talk about the future. You know, college and the like. And it's just nice to know that someone's freaking out about it just as much as I am. Even though I still have all of my senior year left, it's just always bearing down on me. I don't know what I want to do, where I really want to go. It's just scary. There's no other way to describe that feeling. It's terrifying.

This afternoon I watch Stand By Me, which is such a good movie, and River Phoenix is such a good actor, even though he was like 14. So sad and tragic, what happened to him. I seriously want to name my first kid River. It's really fitting when you know that he grew up as a hippie and his parents lived out of a VW bus. It's tragically beautiful that's all.

I also got in a big fight with my brother today, because I wanted to actually use the tv in the living room, and he's somehow under the impression that it's for his use only. I wanted to watch Stand By Me, and he comes down about halfway through the movie and starts bitching because he wanted to watch Star Wars: Episode II, which he's already seen about 5 times. And then because I said no, he asks if he can watch Scrubs in my room. Now, mind you, this is all after he starts calling me a bitch because I wasn't holed up in my room preparing for World War III. And then he just goes on and on about how he should get to use my tv because it's not fair and other bullshit and decides to involve my mom in this, because clearly she wanted to be awoken from a nap to deal with the petty problems of her kids. What an asshole. And then when Michelle came over he was watching his movie so we went up to my room to watch High Fidelity and he comes in and asks what we're doing and if he can watch with us. I told him to get out and he doesn't even budge. I was seriously ready to throw a punch. He just pisses me off so much, and then he doesn't realize that if you fight with someone, it's not all going to be better a couple of hours later. He just can't seem to grasp that concept, and I'm afraid the next time I'm going to have to make him painfully aware of it.

Ugh, now I'm too angry and depressed to keep going. I hate this time of the year. I almost wish I was in school again.
posted by Rachel | |

12-27-04

As I sit here listening to Oasis on my new mp3 player, I can't help but be reflective. The sparkling mirror of life happens to be pointed at me this time. So all of this will be personal revelations and reflections because that's what the end of the year is about. Discovering personal failures so that when we're out at New Years Eve parties we can make promises often know as New Years Resolutions whilst inebriated. It's the cycle of life. I'm simply just participating.

To begin my participation with a rousingly good joke, Hi, my name is Rachel and I'm addicted to clumsiness and failing at life. In the next year I hope to manage to stay on both feet unless sitting down or mimicking a flamingo. See, I just wrote in a loophole. Words are fun.

As I've switched my mp3 player to "Shuffle" I'm now listening to the Legally Blonde OST. And as if that simply isn't embarrasing enough, I've managed to land on LeAnn Rimes. I can't control fate, but you'd think it would make the effort to stack the deck in my favor. I'm always dealt the worst hand.

Okay, I've had about 3 sodas this afternoon, and I'm drunk on caffiene. This usually leads to over-confidence, which in some situations is completely called for. I have yet to be in one of those situations. So at the moment it's just extremely inappropriate. Hey, it happens. I can't control it, I'm slightly intoxicated. So with all my confidence and balls-yness, I'm going to do something I wouldn't normal do. Mind you, I will wait until the topic comes up, but awkward pauses in conversation cause the mind to wander trying to figure out the best thing to break the silence. Therefore the best thing I can come up with is a confusing and most of the time inappropriate question because I'm almost positive it's something we've never talked about. The question today? Why didn't you ask me out?

Yeah, you. You know who you are. I ask you a rather probing question that I believe went something along the lines of: "Did you ever like me?" and then I'm left with a pleasing but not quite fully complete answer. If you liked me why didn't you ask me out you pansy? I know emasculating you is not the best choice right now, but I need to get your attention. Because I need an answer. Why? I'm not sure. It could be that I just want to know because I'm curious and annoying inquisitive. Or it could be that I'm simply obnoxious. Or it could be that I can't get you out of my head, and if don't placate the burning desire to want you in my life, all hell will break loose and my head may or may not spontaneously combust. It's a high possibility.

Instead of waiting for you to read this of course, I'm just going to come out and say it, because you haven't said anything for a good 8 minutes while I've been writing this. From now on, assume that any break in coversation could result in other probing questions. And I will not quit until I have an answer I like. This must be why everyone loves the holidays.
posted by Rachel | |

12-24-04

Yeah, so I've been a little neglectful. I just haven't been in the mood. I would, however, like to thank everyone for their super awesome gifts. Lauren, the ham is marvelous, and not weird in any way at all.

I've kind of been cleaning nonstop so far because I'm anxious about my paper and everything else. The last thing I need this Christmas is stress. I went to visit my mom in the hospital today. The nurse said she was doing well, but she was pretty sick when I was there. I had lunch in the cafeteria, and then came home. I'm super pissed off at my brother. The first thing he said when we got to the hospital was, "Hi mom. You have a TV? Can I watch TV?" Talk about rude. My brother has no socail skills, and I'm pretty sure he's going to be living at home in his 30s, but you'd think he might have a little maturity. And of course I'm getting yelled at for telling my brother to stop kicking me and playing hopscotch in the hall while people are trying to walk by. He didn't take his ADD medication so he's bouncing off the walls. I swear, I had hopes for this Christmas, but my brother is such an antagonistic little bitch that it's still awful. He's convinced that Christmas will be horrible this year and it will be all my fault. Yeah, thanks for having hope. And then of course he says all this and not less than 12 seconds later he's knocking on my door asking for a hug. He has the attention span of a fly and the memory of an cactus.

This is just turning out to be a really bad Christmas. It's still different than every other Christmas, but it's still bad. The weather isn't helping either. It's gray and overcast out there and it's seriously depressing me. I don't even have the energy to snark.
posted by Rachel | |

12-19-04

A much more complete update then before as I have now finished all my Christmas shopping. I've wrapped most of everything; I'm just trying to think of something funny to write in Lauren's card. Christmas cards and yearbooks, they're poison I tell you.

I went to a host of marvelous places today in search of the perfect gift, the most marvelous of course, being Clarendon. Which I have now decided to move to because it joins 3 of my favorite things: Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel and overpriced yuppie shopping centers. I swear, whoever thought of putting a Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel across the street from each other and down the block from Starbucks was a genius. A frickin' genius. And so I must move there to celebrate their infinite wisdom. If you miss me you can find me living under the cappuccino machine, making a living off of pocket change and selling extra foam.

Anyway, my trip to heaven was cut short and I arrived home to find my brother crying as usual. He ruins everything. Why can't he keep his emotions bottled up inside like my mother? Worse yet, he was crying over homework. Which he hadn't started until shortly before I got home. This is Sunday mind you. He spent all of Saturday screwing around with his friends because it was his "birthday party". You would not believe the amount of money he got in gift certificates. Something like $40 from Best Buy and other esteemed denominations from other stores. Just outrageous. For my 13th birthday party I didn't get anything like that. I don't really remember what I got, but it was certainly not that extravagant. I do know that I got to see Legally Blonde and eat an entire bucket of popcorn the size of a small European-made car. How sad is it that I consider things that happened only 3 years ago to part of the good ol' days? You should see me reminisce about elementary school. It's not a pretty picture. I wonder what ever happened to all my old teachers. I'm sure more than a few of them have had themselves committed over the years, but that still leaves quite a few missing.

Michelle called me about 20 minutes ago to tell me it was snowing. So nice of her to make sure I look out the window every once in a while. I'd miss so much otherwise. I, of course, was already in my pajamas because they don't call it 5:30 for nothing, and proceeded to throw on shoes and take the phone outside. I stood outside for a good 10 minutes trying to talk to Michelle and catch snowflakes on my tongue. They seemed to all land on my nose. Then a cop car drove by, which brings the Number Of Humorous Events In Which I Have Been Outside Doing Something Suspicious While The Boys In Blue Have Driven By, to a record high 2. It all comes with the territory though, as I live 5 houses down from the police station. You'd think I would have learned by now, but no. I don't know what it is, but I think Michelle brings it out of me. This always seems to happen when she's with me or talking to me. Yep, let's just blame it on her. Tis the season of giving, and I'm giving everyone else the chance to be responsible for my actions. Enjoy it while it lasts.
posted by Rachel | |

12-19-04

The holidays are bad enough without Sad Clerk At Borders. I went to IKEA yesterday, but it was a bit of a bust. I bought Christmas decorations though, because I have to decorate the tree by myself. I figured that this year I was going to make sure all the ugly ornaments I made in kindergarten are conviently missing. I still of course have to buy a tree, but if I never get around to that I can always string up some lights around my brother. I doubt he'll care. After IKEA I came home and rested for a little while because I was exhausted. If they made that store any bigger I'd need an oxygen tank just to get around. It didn't help that we had to walk around it twice because I kept forgeting things I wanted to look at.

My brother's belated birthday party was yesterday. He and 5 friends terrorized my mom while I was out shopping. It was beautiful revenge.

Around 8 I went over to Borders to find a book for Lauren. Because we're so illiterate that we give those kind of gifts. I had to wait around forever to use the Book Search things. I was just kind of browsing the stacks hoping to find some really cute tall guy who I could trick into getting a book off a high shelf for me, but you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a dozen middle-aged yuppies in clogs. Then of course once I found a book they had in stock, it took forever to buy it. What with Sad Clerk and everything. You could not get this woman to talk. She was just so sad. "Sign here. *sigh* Thank you for shopping at Borders. *sigh*." Where was the emotion? Where was the holiday spirit? Where was life in general?

Now I've got to spend today doing my English homework which I managed to put off all weekend because I've started my Winter Break earlier than the school has allowed. I also have to get Michelle and Jennifer's gifts and then wrap them because according to Michelle would heard this from Lauren, "we're doing gifts on Monday." I think I've gone a little crazy with the gifts this year. It's not like I've bought a lot, but I've bought super expensive things to counteract the fact that everyone else has jobs and can therefore afford to get me expensive things. And I'm already a horrible gift-giver, I didn't want to be a horribly cheap gift-giver. It's a good thing I had some money saved up, but anything I had thought of buying myself has now been pushed to next June. Oh well, tis the season of giving. I wonder if the IRS will just let me write off my purchases as research.
posted by Rachel | |

12-16-04

The vast world of academia has decided to screw me over this week. Hence the lack of updates. I was literally without time. Thankfully that is all over right now. For a good 12 seconds at least. I just can't wait for my IB Film paper. Don't you just love the holidays? I'm not particularly enjoying them right now, but that may be because they haven't actually started in my family.

I just have a feeling that this will be the Christmas to remember. It'll be the Christmas without any lights, no tree, no candles in the windows, and for the better part of the day, no mom. It's not going to be a good memory or a bad one, it's just going to be the one where everything was different. I really hope that this becomes somehow profound and meaningful, but with my family it probably won't. It's nice to dream though, isn't it? Maybe one day we'll be able to be in the same room with each other and not want to kill the person sitting to our left. I can only hope.

This has a taken a particularly sad tone. I didn't mean for it. I had kind of wanted to share the whole Christmas being delayed thing, but I didn't do it justice above. Just kind of rambled without much of an explanation. We'll just turn it into a big game of Clue instead. My money's on Professor Plum.
posted by Rachel | |

12-12-04

Saturday evening began in true spaz fashion. I tripped on Lauren's front steps and fell flat on my face. Magellan was just standing there, waiting for me to get close enough so he could start alerting the neighborhood to my presence. It was the perfect start to a really awesome evening where I embarrassed myself at least 3 more times. Now, I make a horrible first impression. Truly awful. I'm so incredibly nervous and self-conscious that I cause much more tripping over myself than I usually would under normal circumstances. Who could guess that the best way to make a first impression would be to do a beloved 80's dance move? Yes, I was caught in the act doing the robot.

Okay, so to begin, I picked up Lauren at her house, we went to CD Cellar, after 20 minutes of browsing the CDs and whatnot Michelle, Julia and Beth arrive. I do the robot. I feel embarrassed. We walk the 5 feet to Stacy's.

I'm not really a coffee drinker, so I got hot chocolate. Emphasis on the hot. I burnt my tongue. Yay for embarrassment!

The comics were much better than last time. But the lady who runs the thing still got up and did her opening bit. She's revised it to spend more time making fun of her ex-husband. Unfunny women are not made better by their bitterness. The rest were guys, and one of them was really boring, another one of them was boring, one of them was really immature, and the other acted like he was on some narcotic. There was this really cute baby in front of us, she was 10 months old and her parents were really nice. Until her mother started breast-feeding right in front of me. Twice.

It was over around 9:30ish and Beth and Julia has already left two comics earlier, so Michelle, Lauren and I drove around for about an hour. We drove all the way into DC just for the sake of doing it. Then we turne around and drove around the beltway and then through town. It was a really great night. I can't wait for the next one. That was an awful recap, I'm sorry. I really shouldn't try to tell you about the good, because then it ends up sounding like I stayed home and played Scrabble with myself. But I figured I should let everyone know about the dangers of breakdancing in public places.
posted by Rachel | |

12-11-04 "For Christ's Sake, Stop Tapping On the Glass!"

I am of the belief that if something needs to be done, it should be physically brought to my attention. Therefore, if a dog needed to be fed, it would maul you in the driveway. This is my excuse for why I should have a dog. Because unlike the plants I forget to water, the dog will be able to attract my attention. But this isn't about my lack of dog issues, this is about my cell phone. The same cell phone that sits in my pocket wherever I go because I go there under the mistaken impression that someone will actually want to reach me. My cell phone has very few acceptable ring tones, so I keep it on vibrate. It's always in my pocket, so each phone call is a pleasant surprise.

I have to pick up Lauren tonight so we can go to the Standup Comedy Showcase, and I put a memo in my phone, with the alarm on. I turned off vibrate so that if my phone and I are separated in the house, I won't have to go around searching for that weird buzzing noise. Michelle called about 10 minutes ago, and my phone started to ring, but even though I know it's always in my pocket, and I can feel it, I didn't know where it was. I searched every pocket in my sweatshirt before I remembered where it was. It has to physically poke me in the leg for me to know someone wants to talk to me. I'm like a monkey at the zoo they trained to go through a hoop for a banana... I will always associate food with large earings.
posted by Rachel | |

12-10-04

I'm sublimating my rage with a survey I stole from Katharine because she's just the coolest. It's good news for you, and quite cathartic for me actually. I'm literally drowning in my homework. Except for Saturday night, my entire weekend will be filled with late nights and 2am caffiene fixes. Much help will be appreciated in the form of coffee and chocolate covered treats. I really wish there was some place that still sold solid chocolate Easter bunnies, because then I'd be set. I'd also be 210 pounds. But consequences are consequences, and I'm throwing them to the wind. I'm not gonna keep you waiting. Here it is.

ON THE OUTSIDE
- Photo: I don't know quite what they're asking for, but let's just say my face would break the camera.
? Birthplace: Fairfax Hospital
- Current Residence: Annandale, VA
- Eye Color: blue
- Hair Color: Dull blonde, I need some highlights to spiff it up.
- Height: 5'7"
- Righty or Lefty: Righty
- Zodiac Sign: Leo

ON THE INSIDE

- Your heritage: Polish, Austrian, Scottish, and whatnot.
- Shoes you wore today: Vans
- Your weakness: Incredibly self-conscious.
- Your fears: College.
- Your perfect pizza: Italian Sausage
- Goal you`d like to achieve: get a job, own a house

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
- Your most overused phrase: "I don't know"
? Your best physical feature: My eyes, only to the extent that they're blue and symmetrical.
- Your bedtime: 10 most likely
- Your most missed memory: Crusing Key West with Tracy
- Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
- Single or group dates: Single probably, but I'm so insecure I'd probably bring along Lauren just for good measure.
- Adidas or Nike: Adidas
- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don't like tea.
- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
- Cappuccino or coffee: Neither.

DO YOU?
- Smoke: No
- Curse: Not profusely, but yet. When the moment stirs me, I do.
- Take a shower: Most definitely.
- Have a crush(es): No, I like being single.
- Like(d) highschool: I'm hating it as we speak. But overall it's not too bad.
- Want to get married: Absolutely.
- Believe in yourself: As much as I possibly can.
- Get motion sickness: Nope.
- Think your attractive: Not really. Attractive is for people with tans.
- Think your a health freak: I wouldn't say freak, but I can resist the temptation. Ice cream free for 7 days!
- Get along w/ your parents: My dad, yes. My mom, sometimes.
- Like thunderstorms: Yeah, a lot. I love lightning.
- Play an instrument: Drums, and I can sort of play the piano.

IN THE PAST MONTH
- Drank alcohol: No.
- Gone on a date: What do you think? That'd be a no for those of you who are awful guesses.
- Gone to the mall: I don't think so.
- Been on stage: For band concerts, yes. Because I'm a loser.
- Eaten an entire box of oreos: I can't say that I have.
- Eaten sushi: God no.
- Been dumped: Not that I know of.
- Gone skating: Unfortunately no, the weather has been awful.
- Gone skinny dipping: Nope.
- Dyed your hair: No.
- Stolen anything: Not that I remember.

HAVE YOU EVER
- Played a game that required removal of clothes: Nope.
- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Never. I've been tipsy, but Koolaid will do that to you.
- Been caught "doing something": Never. I wouldn't even know what was so scandalous about those quotation marks.
- Been called a tease: No, but I often feel like one.
- Gotten beaten up: Not really. I always kicked my brother back.
- Shoplifted: I don't think so.
- Changed who you were to fit in: Nope, just progressed naturally.

GETTING OLDER
- Age you hope to be married: Early. 25 or so. At least before I'm 30. Yeah, so I'll be 60 and living with my cats, but can you really blame me?
- Number of Childen: At least 1. Maybe more if the first one is really quiet.
- Describe your dream wedding: Short, sweet, simple, lots of Karoke.
- Where you want to go to college: Bowdoin, but I don't think I'll get in.
- What do you want to be when you grow up: An entrepreneur. What I'll be entrepreneur-ing, I don't know.
- What country would you most like to visit: Australia

IN A GIRL/GUY
- Best eye color: I don't think it matters.
- Best hair color: Probably blonde, but as long as they have it I don't care.
- Short or long hair: Short.
- Height: Taller than me, but not gigantic.
- Best weight: In good shape.
- Best articles of clothing: t-shirt and jeans.
- Best first date location: Roller rink. I'm a loser like that, but I really want to find a guy who can roller disco.

IN THE NUMBERS
- Number of drugs taken illegally: None at all.
- Number of times you got your heart broken: At least twice.
- Number of hearts you`ve broken: Maybe once. I don't even know if it counts.
? Number of people I could trust my life with: Maybe 3.
- Number of CDs that I own: 90.
- Number of piercings: 0
- Number of tattoos: 0
- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Never.
- Number of things in my past that I regret: I can't name specifics, but I'm sure I've regretted something.
posted by Rachel | |

12-9-04

I could have broken a window today. By simply sneezing. It's as if my nose has employed the sound system they use to alert the entire San Fransisco Bay area of fog. It's scary to be around. Poor me, I'm attached to the stupid thing.

Heard the new Barenaked Ladies song on the radio this afternoon. Finally! A song that employs irony to the best of its ability, and to the definition of the word. When will Alanis learn? It's got a good kick to it, and it's surprising slower than most of their songs. It is in fact possible to sing along. If you learn the words of course. They've stumped me there. I can't even sing "One Week" with the words in front of me.

Oh, and today pretty much... well, it was awful. I don't know how it is that I can routinely embarrass myself without setting off an imbalance of the universe. If you feel a small shift to the left, I've probably tripped over my own feet. And if by any chance you've become completely disassociated with the ground, I've most likely slipped on a banana peel. Things like that really do happen to me. In front of people. I seem to be most able to keep it together when no one else is around. And then there are the rare instances where I manage to fall seemingly on my own. I'm still positive Candid Camera has bugged my house and is now making a fortune selling tapes of "Rachel and bagel both fall shmear side down" in Japan. I'm so Jewish.

And I'm also done. If I continued I would lose my funny. And Friday needs it more than you do. You'll just have to wait.
posted by Rachel | |

12-7-04

They appear in my house between the hours of 3 and 8 without warning. They rearrange my furniture and make so much noise that I can't take a nap. They don't leave in a timely fashion, but stay into all hours of the night. I swear, I don't even know some of their names. They are, if you haven't guessed by now, my brother's friends. Unless you have twins there should only be one 13 year old boy in your house at all times, otherwise you might offset the balance of the universe.

I swear, I have so much pent up anger right now that I'm going to kill one or both of them. Thankfully Chris was around to listen to me rant and rave about problems of having a sibling. I think he considers himself lucky because he is in fact an only child. He suggested a smack my brother, which only strengthens the lonely kid act because he does not know that violence could lead to not getting shotgun on trips to the store. It's a very complicated world we live in isn't it?

Anyway, I awoke about 6 times during the course of the evening. I had the most annoying and painful sinus headache ever, and when I rolled over in bed around 5 in the morning I remembered the Sudafed was on my nightstand. I proceded to happily medicate myself. Of course, the medicine did not kick in until... that's right, 6. At which point in time I had to awake to the beginning of the new day and throw on some clothes. I seriously considered just not going to school that day, but realized that it would be hard to make up whatever we did in math. Because even though I've alreadly learned everything we're doing, Mrs. Frome has the inate ability to make everything I spent all of last year learning, completely obsolete because she teaches it a different way, and therefore fucks up your head because you don't know what she's talking about. So I clearly could not miss the serious mind-fuck that is morning math class. Sorry for the language, it was just that kind of a day.

The rest of the day was okay, lunch and History were particularly entertaining. The former because we made up code names and Rachel ended up doing a spit take with her soda. The latter because we didn't take notes, and instead had storytime. Mr. Kelly is a great storyteller. I swear, I could almost feel the heat of the ill-constructed campfire/forest-fire-in-training and smell the burning of marshmallows. The bus was another picnic on its own. Jackie rode the bus today, which meant that Rachel was hasseled, poked, proded, and made particularly uncomfortable by the closeness. But that's just Jackie being Jackie.

That pretty much sums it up. I'm about to go buy a calculator accessory that I will only use once in my life, but will still cost me $20. If there was anything dumber than the IB program, it would have to be my brother.
posted by Rachel | |

12-5-04

I tried looking to Pamie for inspiration, but she hasn't written anything lately, so this writing I'm doing right now almost didn't happen.

I've somehow managed to make getting my act together a failure. On Friday I decided to start a list of everything that happened that day. I began writing it in the last class of the day though, so you can see how complete it is. I wrote it so that I would have something to jog my memory when I came home to write this because I often find myself wandering the house aimlessly hoping to find something to write about, and then of course forgetting it by the time I get back to my room. It's lose-lose for me. And seeing as today is Sunday and I have't written about Friday, you can see how effective said list really was. But viewing it now has in fact jogged my memory, so I'll procede with the recap.

After lunch I walked with Lauren about 30 feet to her class, and I felt a weird pain in my left arm. I was convinced I was having a heartattack and would be the youngest person to have a heart attack ever. I then started to wonder why I was having one before Whitney, because her life is infinitely more heart attack-worthy. The pain subsided as I walked to my locker, and lo and behold, the people who make out in front of my locker were back again. I prayed to whatever god handles high school problems that they would not be right on top of my locker, facilitating an awkward but curt, "Excuse me," followed by a pair of stares judging me because I was in need of my Physics binder. Physics by the way, was boring, and I would drift off into unconsciousness. But every ten minutes or so Ms. Gray would say something that would invade my thoughts and I'd awake to the word "vectors" and such. It was very disorienting.

That concludes what was actually on the list. But on the bus I listened to the Thicker Than Water Soundtrack that I bought a couple of days ago. It's really good, and as of one this afternoon I had not seen the movie. The movie wasn't bad, but I was expecting a lot more out of it. Saturday I hung out with Michelle for about 45 minutes. We drove over to CD Cellar so that I would have another person to convince Lauren that we're not leading her blind-folded into the depths of hell. While I was there they had the 4th season of CSI so I borrowed some money from Michelle and bought it. It was $24.99. I was so shocked. I almost didn't believe the guy when he told me.

I was going to go with Michelle and bunch of other people to a concert at 10 last night. Yeah right, I was asleep by 9:30. I've been sick all weekend. I've got a really sore throat and a mix of coughing and sneezing I like to refer to as snoughing. I've got history homework and laundry to do still. So exciting. I'd like that heart attack right about now.
posted by Rachel | |

12-3-04 "Quickie"

I was looking through my old journal on BlogSpot and I found a particularly entertaining essay from beginning of April '03. It just goes to show that you can never run away from what you said.

posted by Rachel | |

12-2-04 "Deja Vu? Is that you?"

Last night my dad and I were cruising through Fairfax with the radio on. It starts to play, "Sunday Morning," Maroon 5's new hit. I recognize them instantly, what with all the air play of "This Love." But somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm also thinking it sounds a lot like that episode of the Simpsons where Michael Jackson guest stars as a fat white guy released from prison and he and Bart write a song for Lisa for her birthday. My dad turns to me, obviously wondering who the song is by because if he didn't something would be wrong. He thinks its Stevie Wonder. Because he really likes Stevie Wonder. We bob our heads knowingly through it, and it is a pretty good song. A very different turn from what they usually do. The radio host comes on and comfirms my suspicions, it's Maroon 5. He then turns to his co-host and says, "It sounds a lot like Stevie Wonder." She turns to him. "It reminds me of that Simpsons episode with Michael Jackson." Can you say strange?

Today was up and down mostly. "A rollercoaster ride of emotions," says the New York Times. I got to school early because my dad drove me. He's way better at getting his act together in the wee hours of the morning than my mom is, but that's not shocker there. What was a bit of a shock was that Michelle showed up. In the morning. Short. Sentences. Are the only way. To convey. The excitement. We hung out in the black box for a little while with Lauren until Sam showed up and then we split.

Art wasn't too bad, I think I'm getting the hang of shading with charcoal. In Marketing we took the mandatory DECA test and I got a 32 out of 50 on it. Rob said the highest anyone got in his class last year was a 38 out of 50. He get a 31. It made me feel good. English was interesting. I unfortunately did not get to see Lauren in the play because Mrs. Feil said we had a lot of work to do. I spent most of the class staring at my desk and sleeping. Good call lady. I did manage to get Rob in detention, so it was somewhat eventful. I'm so grateful to Lauren for the help on my English homework that I'm going to go to CD Cellar and get her a CD. A relatively cheap CD that no one has ever heard of, but a gift nonetheless. I'm also going to call it part of my Christmas present because I'm lazy and hate shopping for other people. Perhaps I'll put a bow on it.

Film was fun. Finished watching Grand Hotel. It was weird seeing Joan Crawford in a kind, caring, and all around compassionate role. Certainly a far cry from Mommie Dearest. And no matter what had actually happened at all today, Alex managed to cheer me up. Which he does on a routine basis. He's just so nice. He's the kind of guy you want to marry, but he's so... Alex, that you can't hit on him. He's Alan Ruck. In his Ferris Bueller days though, not Spin City. We spent the last 30 minutes or so in the lab printing out film analysis stuff for our practice presentation. I picked Rebel Without A Cause because I figured it would be the easiest. Not so. I have about 20 pages to read this weekend. Plus I have to pick my 5 minute scene to show. I'm gonna look around at CD Cellar for it or just rent it this weekend.

Movie Night possibly this weekend. We're still going over the details. I keep forgetting to talk to Michelle about it, and Jennifer doesn't get off work until around 11. Who am I kidding? It's never gonna happen. We're gonna have to hold it on a Tuesday or something.

Heh. The radio is on in the living room. I've heard about 3 Maroon 5 songs since I started writing this.
posted by Rachel | | 12-1-04

I'm having the most terrible week ever, but I can't remember most of it. Pamie and djb have saved my week. And they did it halfway through, so maybe tomorrow and Friday won't suck. Maybe I'll finally be able to perk up and just stare adversity in the face. I don't care if I don't know them, and will probably never in my life meet them, they are the best part of my day. If it weren't for them, Lauren and Katharine, I probably wouldn't be able to survive. Or at least I wouldn't be passing English and able to take out my "queen bitch" complex on someone else. I love all you guys, and this has been a really trying week.

I don't even want to go over what happened today. It wasn't too bad, but it was pretty awful. Ah, all the things I had to say today, and none of them made it again. I'm totally neglecting all this.
posted by Rachel | |