7-24-04

There's something about Saturday mornings. Where it's completely normal to see a guy in a cowboy hat playing with an ugly dog whose humping a basketball. Any other day of the week and that would have been down right weird.

My birthday is tomorrow. But it doesn't feel like it. It almost feels like it will never be my birthday. Everyday is a countdown but there are no numbers. It's impossible to tell when it will come, and part of me never wants it to. But you count down the days to maintain some amount of sanity, to seem like your days are leading up to something. I used to think that you only really got older on your birthday. Like there was some magical transformation and you looked one year older. But now it doesn't feel like that. It feels like I'm 80, and now I've just got to deal with the formality of living all my years. That sounds depressing. I don't mean it to be. But it is. I wish today felt special. I may not be 16 yet, but this is my last day as 15. Do you ever get confused when someone asks you how old you are? I remember I was in the grocery store with my dad, and he was talking to this woman who had a 1 year old or something, and she asked how old I was, and I couldn't figure it out. I really had no idea. And if I can't even remember that I'm 15, how am I supposed to remember that I'll be one year older tomorrow? I think I'll still be 15 for a month or two. Just because this all won't have caught up with me till then. I remember being really little and every single day counted. I was 6 years and 253 days old. Now I can't even remember how old I am, regardless of days and hours. I wish I was 6 again. If we all lived to be 80, we'd be considered a grownup for like 60 years of our lives. We only get to be a kid for 20 years. After that you can't grow anymore. Sure, you can be over the hill, or a senior citizen, but those are really all downward moves. There's no place to go up to. That's why these years are so coveted. They're rare.

Sorry about getting all philosophical back there. Sometimes I just can't control myself. So, the only good thing about going to Maine is that I won't be missing Dead Like Me, because I've already seen the first 3 episodes. Before it's even premiered. I feel very cool and powerful. Television has no control over me. And I don't have to pay for cable. I think that's like my motto or something. Or my mantra. When people think of me, they think, "She watches tv whenever she wants and doesn't pay for things." Some people would think that I'm cheap, others might think I had too much time, I think it's some sort of combination of both. And it's not like anyone is trying to stop me. Why? Because I have cool shit. Ha. That reminds me of something someone said to me once. I was like 10 maybe, and I was talking to this girl who was older than me. She was telling me how she had a friend who was her age, but who was much more mature than her. I asked her why and she said it was because she cursed more. She was being serious. And I took it as a serious answer. I had this new respect for this girl because she cursed more. How sad is that? Is that really the definition of maturity? I hope Kristen still doesn't think that way.

7-20-04

I just downloaded iTunes for Windows. I feel very proud of myself because I keep reminding myself to do it, and then I forget. And this has been going on for a couple of months since I first heard that they offered iTunes for Windows. Now, before you decide never to speak to me ever again because I use Mac based software, be aware that not only did I not pay for it, but I still have no plans to pay for music. Essentially, I'm ripping off Apple Computers. Take that! Of course now I have to partake in the agonizing pain that is copying all of my CDs (all 2 of them) to my hard drive. Which has very little room as it is. So today will be a fun day. I can't wait. Note the freakin' sarcasm.

7-19-04

Okay, so in about 30 minutes I can finally watch I Love the 90s. Except I've kind of lost the excitement I used to have. I've been waiting for this for so long, and when I went to the boards at IMDb, I found out that a lot of people are pissed about the fact that they barely even represented the 90s. Someone said they left out pogs! How could they do that? There were a bunch of people who were making up lists of all the things that they left out on the show, and I read one of them and it was so weird thinking about all those things again. I mean, I couldn't have remembered any of those things on my own. I've managed to successfully forget everything that happened in the decade. Mostly for my own sanity, but I've decided that if I had to do it all over again, I would. I mean, they had pogs back then!

Here's one of the lists, with my own humorous comments in parenthesis.

-saved by the bell (I still love watching the reruns)
-blossom
-seinfeld
-friends (I'm sorry, but how does one forget this show, and how did they manage to avoid all the media coverage when this ended, while they were filming this series?)
-simpsons (Again, how do you miss this?)
-Ska music with bands such as no doubt and mighty mighty bosstones
-greenday
-weezer
-the sandlot (I love this movie. It made me want to play baseball. It also cured my fear of large dogs. I'm now afraid of small ones.)
-teenage mutant ninja turtles (Certainly better than that crap they have now.)
-titanic (How could anyone forget this movie after having to hear Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" every time you turn on the radio?)
-the hayday of Nickelodeon shows: hey dude, salute your shorts, clarrissa explains it all, double dare, pete and pete, etc (Don't forget All That before everyone left and it became horrible)
-cheers
-TGIF with Full House etc (One of the greatest television lineups in history. Think about it. When tv networks want to axe a series these days, they schedule it for Friday night. ABC had so much influence that it kept people home on Friday nights!)
-Crash test dummies commercials and toys etc
-Barenaked ladies
-Ace venture and the mask
-mrs. doubtfire (The only cross-dressing screwball comedy of that era!)
-super soakers (I still have mine.)
-Americas funniest home videos (Bob Saget was the man!)
-married with children (Longest running sitcom)
-david spade and chris farley
-Talk shows: jerry, ricky, donahue, sally jessie
-air pump shoes and the shoes with red lights (I had a pair of those shoes with red lights. What were they called? Air something? Something with initials? Who cares, they were awesome. I unfortunately never had the oppurtunity to wear the ones with the air pumps. I was never cool enough.)
-home alone
-golden girls (Gay men everywhere are extremely pissed about this.)
-empty nest
-mariah carrey (I never liked her, but clearly they could have spent a lot of time mocking her. I mean, Glitter alone deserves it's own hour.)
-kenny g
-marky mark and the funky bunch
-zima
-weird al's bad hair day
-louis and clark: the new adventures of superman
-pogs (I wish I still had my pogs. I think they were stolen.)
-magic eye books (I used to love these books.)
-skip it (I never had one, but if I did, I would skip all day long.)
-talk boy
-push pops and ring pops (Still very popular today, and for good reason.)
-sleepless in seatle, philadelphia, and a lot of other tom hanks movies
-guns n roses' november rain
-mighty ducks (Inspired me to play hockey and to rollerblade. Huge part of my life, and one of my greatest memories.)
-disney movies
-robin hood prince of theives and men in tights

7-18-04-

Riding Giants was absolutely amazing last night. It was just so... amazing. There's no other way to describe it. So emotional. I was almost crying when Greg Noll was describing Waimea Bay, or when they showed the footage from the day Mark Foo died. For the most part the movie was really just about surfers talking about waves. Which is a beautiful thing to hear, because no one can describe the ocean with as much passion as they can. I remember watching the clip of Laird Hamilton and the massive wave he caught at Teahupoo, and being just so shocked, even though I've seen that same clip about ten times, and then as the intial shock wore off, just being stoked and smiling. I know that feeling, and it feels incredible. It's the same feeling I got when I watched Step Into Liquid, and they're showing all these kids in Ireland catching their first waves, or the mini-groms in Hawaii who are so tiny and light that they barely affect the board, but they're all smiles. It's a beautiful feeling. Although I don't really understand big wave surfing, and am about as likely to try it as I might try skydiving, I think that it also carries a sort of adventurous lifestyle with it that most people aspire to, but in different ways. It's the search for the Holy Grail. I think it would be incredible to be a pioneer. To go where no man has gone before, but without the geeky Star Trek vibe. To take a road trip to the middle of nowhere. To go looking for something that you may never find, but still be content with just the journey. I happen to like aimless wandering.

7-17-04

I really should update this thing more often. Or at least pretend to. I missed the Midtown concert on the 15th because I was too tired. I went to my dad's office to hang out with him because I was bored, and he had some work I could do, basically just filing, so I did that because I need the money. And then on Thursday I went back with my dad and Deb had like this huge stack of papers that I had copy to double-sided, then sort and mail out to a bunch of people. But I got $50, lunch, and a copy of the new Carbon Leaf CD for helping her out. I was going to go back to my dad's office yesterday and finish some other stuff but I was like extremely ill. I really just wanted to die yesterday. I felt nauseous the entire day. Really bad. So yeah, today I missed the Billabong Right Coast Detour in South Jersey because I woe up late and even if we had left right then, by the time we got there it would have been over. So that was kind of a bummer. I really wanted to see Shane Dorian. They're going to be coming to Virginia Beach, but it's gonna be all the skaters, like Bucky Lasek, and no Shane. And I would go to Ocean City, MD, but I can't find any shops with a time on their website. I'm pretty sure it will be early in the morning too, so I'd have to wake up really early. Oh well, I get over it. I can't go to the Carbon Leaf concert tonight because I'm probably going to go see Riding Giants at either E Street or Bethesda Row with my dad. Those are the only two places it's playing in like a 200 mile radius. It should be good. Eight days until my birthday and I still don't know what I want to do. Any suggestions?

7-13-04

Sorry, no obsessions for today. But by request I have been trying to decipher just what it is I want for my birthday. I've come up with a few things, but I don't really know if I want them. I don't really want anything at the moment. I've got too much crap as it is. I don't even know what I want to do for my birthday. I mentioned something to my dad about a moonbounce and a limo, but I'm not really sure he took it seriously. I think it would be kind of awesome though. Because I really need to do something that day. I can't just sit at home and bake myself a cake. Because no amount of frosting will ever make that great. I want something memorable. It looks like I'll have to pull something together myself though, because my parents have actually admitted that they have failed in the birthday-planning area of parenting. Oh well, I'm sorry I'm ranting. I'll do my best to change that.

Yesterday I went to CD Cellar and bought Igby Goes Down and Levelland. They were both like $6 each. It was really weird. Everything there was cheaper. I wanted to buy more stuff, but there wasn't much else that I wanted, and they didn't have Dead Like Me. I've been looking for it there forever. I know, I know, I should just go to the store and buy it, but it's way too expensive. I think I've fallen into a trend. Yeah, so I watched Levelland last night, and it's kind of interesting. I think there are parts where it wants to tackle social issues, but it kind of fails. And it would have been great had they kept up the "everyone in this town works for the same company" bit, instead of having the mom almost get fired. I just think it could have been very revolutionary as a "coming of age" story, but it tries to handle everything at once. Instead of getting you to hate the parents for repressing these kids, you feel bad for them. And then you start to wonder why, if all the kids ever wanted to do was break free and move out, then why do they all come back in the end. They started on this great journey out of hell, and when things got too hard, they went back. I guess in a way it shows you how much they belong there, and how screwed up they are, and how much they really haven't grown up, even though they think they have. Which I'm sure is the entire message for the movie, but I think it could have been better if they changed it. I know, I know, you don't care. I also watched Igby Goes Down this morning. And that's interesting as well, because they're kind of the same movie in a way. Except in the end Igby does leave and has grown up over the course of the movie. Oh well, what can you do? I went skating this morning. I haven't gone it a while because it's been mostly rainy and such, and humid too, but today was almost nice. Still humid though.

That was a lot of nonsense.

7-8-04

And today's obsessions are...
Don't worry, I'm still plenty obsessed with Celebrity Poker. It's on tonight too, so I'll be able to watch it tomorrow. Why am I the only kid without cable? I was listening to the radio today and they described not having cable as cruel and unsual punishment. Yeah, so I tried giving Celebrity Blackjack and chance, and it just doesn't have the stuff. So boring. I mean, you'd think with Alex Borstein as the host it would be a hoot and a half, but it's not. She's not even that funny. See, this is what happens when you leave SNL, you end up memorizing corny one-liners and reciting them in front of Jason Alexander in a pink skirt-suit. Also cruel and unsual punishment. Anyway, I've had Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer for a while now, like 4 months maybe, it's on the second disk for Step Into Liquid, but I was bored so I installed it yesterday. I'm hooked. I played all yesterday and all today. I think I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. And half of my ring finger is numb. Just half. The left half. It's not even top and bottom it's so weird. I think it's a problem even WebMD couldn't fix. In fact I think looking it up on WebMD would only make it worse. I really have to stop typing. But I can't. I feel duty bound. I must tell you how my day went! So I woke up around 9. Actually, at 9. 9:04 or something bizarre like that. Same thing happened yesterday, and the day before that. And then I played Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer. I've got to shorten that, I think it's part of the problem. Will KSPS work for you folks? Nah, me either. So then I had yogurt for breakfast, and then a lunchable at lunch. Of course. I think I've said that at least once this week. Let me scroll down and check. I don't think I did. So after lunch I read the foreword in Cosmic Banditos. I love that book. I really do. Then some more computer game playing. Computer game playing, I sound like such a nerd. But I am. My god, what cool person would get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? I don't think even bleaching my hair would get me back in with the popular kids. I'm such a loser. I think I will bleach my hair though. I need a hair color. It's just so dull. Or maybe just highlights. Then I could keep my IQ. You know, that's one of the first things they make you give up. The second is diary.

I can't believe I had never heard of David Gray until a couple of days ago. That's so unlike me. Yeah, so I heard a song of his on the radio and it was pretty good. So I downloaded it, and now I can't stop listening to it. As for All Over The Guy, it's my second favorite gay-themed movie, next to The Broken Hearts Club. But I'm A Cheerleader is third. I didn't really like Dan Bucatinsky when guest starred on Will & Grace, but I just love him in this movie. It's so sweet. And I just love seeing Richard Ruccolo again! It's so sad that they don't even have Two Guys a Girl, and a Pizza Place reruns anymore. Oh, other sad news. Ryan Reynolds is getting married! Well, not so sad for him, but for millions and millions of women. Including yours truly. Okay, I think I've explained myself well enough, judge as you please.

7-5-04

So yesterday wasn't bad, not great either. We went over to Lake Barcroft to see the fireworks there. It's always a bit of a bummer though, because we don't know anyone there, so it's just my family and I sitting in awkward silence. And then we came home and played with sparklers and stuff in the driveway. My dad threw a firecracker in the storm drain accidentally, so that was funny. Made a really weird sound when it blew. And then I think I went to bed around 2 in the morning. I was really upset and angry, so watched a couple episodes of Friends to calm down. Today was okay. I went to IKEA with my dad, because while I was up last night I was looking at stuff online. We ended up buying a bunch of stuff, but nothing we actually went there for. Pretty standard actually, we always do that. Then I had a fat free frozen yogurt and half a cherry Pepsi for lunch. Yum. Afterwards I went to Borders with my mom. She needed to get a few books for William because the school's actually requiring him to read a book over the summer. He's still a bit confused about the fact that some people like to read. Unless a book tells him how to beat a video game then it's useless to him. I on the other hand, got Cosmic Banditos. It's by the same guy who wrote In Search of Captain Zero, and it's all about smuggling drugs. A little research, no? Yeah, so that's pretty much it. I also watched like the last half of The Whole Ten Yards, and Pirates of the Carribean. And later I'm gonna watch Intolerable Cruelty. You'd think I have a life, but no, I don't.

7-4-04

Hello, my name is Rachel and I'm addicted to Celebrity Poker.

I just finished watching the last game this morning, and I swear, it's exciting. Normally I draw the line at watching other people play poker, because I find it's like watching other people eat. It just really makes you hungry. And when all you have is a Diet Coke and a pixie stick, heads will roll. I was so devastated though, when Lauren Graham lost to that girl from ER. I was like cursing at the tv, rewinding and then cursing some more. I gotta tell you, not everyone can get angry about a football game, but I find it very easy to get angry at a celebrity. What I really wanted to happen was for everyone else to drop out and leave Michael Ian Black and Lauren Graham going at it. They're both like my idols, and it would have been absolutely hilarious. I was like falling over laughing when Nicole Sullivan came out and was passing out drinks. Her boobs were kind of falling out of her shirt, so Lauren was blocking her and Michael was like, "She busted me out of Celebrity Poker and now she's busting out again." God, I can't wait for I Love the 90's to come out to I can obsess about that.

7-2-04

So, grades came today. I heard somebody else had gotten theirs, so I went downstairs to get the mail, and although I was happy to see that I received Surfer's Collector's Edition, I was not happy to see that my grades were in the mail. Even though I knew they would be there. So I brought the mail upstairs, and put it on the counter, and took off the rubberband and separated my magazine from the large stack. I then proceded to sift through the letters, and found my grades. At first I thought about hiding them, and then that didn't seem practical. So I began chanting, "I'm fucked." Surely that would make this all go away. Then I thought well maybe if I just called my dad and asked to open them, I could begin to prepare for the large amount of trouble I would undoubtly be in. Goodbye computer, goodbye tv, goodbye cell phone... So I called, and I was told I could open them after much begging, and so I proceeded with caution. Slowing tearing off the little edges like something inside was going to bite my hand off, and that somehow that wouldn't be as bad as losing my computer. Finally I got to the last little edge, and I seriously felt like calling someone to come over and open it for me, because I couldn't take it. I then realized that anyone I knew would call me insane and tell me to "open up my own fuckin' grades." Ah, true friends. So I tried to sneak a peak with the last side still attached. I really don't know why. It's like going to a scary movie and holding your hands over your face but still trying to see through the space between your fingers, and then getting upset when you can't. It just doesn't make sense. So I tore off the last side and opened up my grades. I didn't do too badly. I assumed I had completely bombed my Government final, and yet I got a B!

English A
Health and PE A
Driver's Ed A
Chemistry B
Government C
Trig A
Math Analysis B+
Latin C
Film Study A

And yes, I know I could have just told you in the first place, but that first whole paragraph really builds the moment to a nice dramatic climax I think. And after all, I'm as overly dramatic as they come.

7-1-04 "And you thought June was boring..."

Welcome to July! I just found out this morning that July is national ice cream month, so if you can't find me, please check the freezer. In other news, I did not go skating yesterday, so of course it's now hot and humid outside. However I did manage to make it outside for a couple of minutes today, you know, just to tan.

So, moving on, with all my free time now, I've become addicted to flash games. You know, places like miniclip.com and such. Actually, there's this one great game there that I'm just obsessed with. It's called Surf's Up, and there's a link right on the front page there, and it's just lots of fun. I'm still not very good at it, I think the highest score I ever got was about 40,000. Which is not a lot really, I'm still haven't broken the Top 100 on the score board. Maybe someday. Like the last day before school.

I've also been continuing my new hobbie of mixtaping. So far I've made one mix tape. Just one. But there's the great site that I love that will make mix tapes for you. All you have to do is send in an idea, and they'll figure it all out for you. They've got some really great ones too, so I thought I'd just share one. I think it really speaks to me in a way.

I am one sad albino mama who figures a nice tan will make her whole

01. Superdrag - "Whitey's Theme" (Regretfully Yours)
02. Death Cab For Cutie - "A Lack of Color" (Transatlanticism)
03. Stereophonics - "T-shirt Suntan" (Performance & Cocktails)
04. Juliana Hatfield - "Sunshine" (In Exile Deo)
05. Polyphonic Spree - "It's the Sun" (The Beginning Stages Of)
06. Sheryl Crow - "Soak Up the Sun" (C'mon, C'mon)
07. Macka-B - "Natural Suntan" (Natural Suntan)
08. Polara - "Source of Light" (Polara)
09. Beatles - "Here Comes the Sun" (Abbey Road)
10. Grandaddy - "The Warming Sun" (Sumday)
11. Juliana Hatfield - "Universal Heartbeat" (Only Everything)